Catfight
by Mynuet
Summary: PMS and rabies and Kikyo, oh my!


Kagome woke up with the tell-tale twinge in her back that said today was not going to be a good day. She had always managed to time things so that she was back home when her time of the month rolled around, back in the land of hot baths and chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and Midol. This time, however, the hunt for Shikon no Tama shards had taken them far afield, the youkai they fought had been tougher than expected, and her bike had gotten a flat tire, meaning that she had to face the joys of getting a period in feudal era Japan. Lucky her.  
  
Being careful not to wake the sleeping Shippo, she maneuvered her way out of the sleeping bag, grabbed her toiletries out of her bulging backpack and snuck out of the camp in search of water. Even a cold bath would be nice, and the earlier she started the day, the sooner she'd get home. Her luck held true, however, and the only water she could find was a thin trickle barely worthy to be named a creek. She sighed and started her morning ablutions, thankful her mother had insisted she take some pads in case of emergency.  
  
Inuyasha woke abruptly, the smell of blood filling his nostrils. He dropped lightly to the ground and tried to determine the source. It smelled like Kagome's blood, but there was something wrong with it, something alien. His movements woke the boy, whose own nose twitched at the smell. Without a word spoken, they followed the trail of blood scent through the woods.  
  
Their relief at seeing her sitting by the water was short lived, as she turned around and the foam around her mouth became clearly visible. The young fox demon started wailing and sobbing as he screamed her name in despair. He'd seen his parents killed, and losing Kagome to the madness disease was more than he could bear.  
  
Inuyasha swallowed against the lump in his throat. Much as he hated it, he knew the best kindness for a rabid animal was a quick and merciful death. He cracked his knuckles and pushed Shippo behind him, back towards the campsite. "You don't want to see this, kid. Go back to the camp."  
  
Kagome watched this spectacle with confusion, her hand going slack on her toothbrush. /What on earth are those idiots doing?/ Her eyes grew wide as Inuyasha cracked his knuckles before walking towards her, a look of infinite sorrow in his eyes.  
  
"I know you don't understand, but I'm sorry, Kagome. I can't watch you suffer through this." His claws extended and he reached for her neck, intending to snap the delicate bones and crush the life from her in one swift and painless blow. If he was infected by a rabid bite from her in his efforts to spare her pain, so be it.  
  
"SIT!" Kagome looked at his twitching form and spat out the toothpaste, rinsing her mouth and her toothbrush before pulling his head up by the hair. "What was all that about?"  
  
Inuyasha had the sinking feeling he'd made a colossal fool of himself. "Why was your mouth foaming?"  
  
Kagome looked at him in disbelief for a moment before attempting to speak. "You... You thought I had RABIES?! SIT!" Inuyasha had just managed to push himself off of the ground when he was slammed into the ground for the second time. Kagome stalked away, muttering to herself as she gathered her belongings and walked back to camp.  
  
She reached the camp and Shippo leapt up, hope dawning on his face as he saw she was all right. He opened his mouth to speak but she gave him a glare acid enough to bore through rock and snapped, "Not now, Shippo."  
  
The silence continued as they broke camp and started walking. Eventually Inuyasha caught up and Kagome stalked ten feet in front of her companions, determined to think of nothing but the promise of getting home. A minor youkai sprang from the underbrush and she growled before putting one hand on the Shikon shards she wore and bunching the other hand into a fist. Whether it was the power of the jewel or just her extreme aggravation, the roundhouse punch she delivered sent the erstwhile threat howling into the distance. Shippo and Inuyasha stared at each other, eyes wide. Then Kagome started bawling.  
  
Shippo and Inuyasha tried to stare each other down, eyes drawing to identical slits as each silently dared the other to be the one to brave Kagome's tears and wrath. It was the worst possible time for Kikyo to show up, so, following unchangable cosmic laws, she did.  
  
Kagome's eyes lit into flames before Kikyo could do more than stand there and look at Inuyasha with that sad and wistful look that always made Inuyasha feel tremendously guilty. Kagomeusually gritted her teeth and endured these guilt trips, but not this time. A growl came from deep in her throat and she launched herself at Kikyo in a flying tackle.  
  
It would be hard to say who was the most shocked. Kikyo was the fastest to recover, baring her teeth as she fought back against Kagome's attack. Shippo had been next, blinking a few times to confirm that this really was happening. Inuyasha seemed to be permanently frozen in balloon eyed disbelief until Shippo had tugged on his sleeve and said, "Oi, does the winner get you for a prize?"  
  
Leaving behind a bruised and swirly eyed fox boy, Inuyasha leapt into the fray. He pulled the girls apart and held out his hands to maintain distance between them. He panted from the exertion and tried to think of something to say.  
  
"Stay out of this, Inuyasha. It's time this copy was dealt with once and for all." Kikyo stood up straight and pulled at her loose sleeve, finishing the ripping Kagome had started. Inuyasha cringed at the coldness of her eyes as she glared at him and at her opponent.  
  
Kagome used the back of her hand to wipe some blood from the corner of her mouth. "You want a piece of me, bitch? Bring it on." Inuyasha flinched at her tone, turning to look at her face. He almost wished he hadn't, and considered running away and finding a monastery to join... One that didn't allow women to enter the building and required celibacy. His mind was still racing with thoughts on how to get them to stop fighting without killing him when "SIT!" did its job and the girls leapt at each other with nails extended.  
  
He'd never before considered the good points of lying very still on the ground.  
  
Eventually he crawled to where Shippo was, going slowly both because of the pain and to avoid drawing the attention of the combatants. He had the sneaking suspicion that would cause more pain, and a lot of it. Shippo sat on the grass with his knees drawn up to his chest. "Are all women scary sometimes, Inuyasha?"  
  
Inuyasha winced at the shrieks coming from behind him. "How the hell should I know?" His eyes widened as a particularly virulent round of curses rang out behind him. He wasn't sure what all those words were, but he knew that he did NOT want to turn around and see what was happening. He put his hands over his ears, trying to block some of the sounds and shuddered. "I hope not."  
  
Shippo leapt up, shaking a tiny fist in the air. "Yeah! You show her, Kagome!" His little body was vibrating with excitement as he mimicked his heroine's movements, punching the air violently and wincing occasionally as the dead miko got a shot in.  
  
The screaming and cursing stopped, and Inuyasha darted a glance behind his back. He stood and started walking away, pulling Shippo along by the tail and trying to ignore the way the sharp little fangs were gnashing. He hadn't known humans used teeth, but he definitely felt that it was time to go.  
  
It was three days before they saw Kagome again. Kaede had listened to the whole story without interruption and then explained delicately to the disgusted boys what 'that time of the month' entailed for human women. Then she laughed for half hour straight, wiping tears of mirth from her eyes when the mental picture of Kagome pounding on her sister's shade set her to cackling again. A silent look passed between the other two and sealed the agreement to allow Kagome to spend all the time she wanted at her home. Wild horses could not have impelled Inuyasha to go after her this time.  
  
When she did appear, she looked rested and happy. Earrings danced and sparkled, a cloud of perfume surrounded her, and the bruising around her eyes had faded to barely being noticeable. All in all, someone judging solely by appearance would wonder why two beings with demon blood would cringe away and avoid making eye contact. "Isn't it a beautiful day today? It'll make shard hunting a pleasure!"  
  
Her cheerful voice and shining eyes did nothing whatsoever to allay the wariness of her traveling companions. With the perfume hanging over her, neither could tell if the alien blood smell was still present. Discretion being the better part of valor, or of abject cowardice, both slunk away, muttering excuses. Kagome rolled her eyes and wondered what was wrong with them before going on to Kaede's house to say hello.  
  
The End  
  
But wait! says the reader. Where were Sango and Miroku this whole time? Well, says the author, I could tell you, but then I'd have to change the rating. Suffice it to say they were well and happy elsewhere.  
  
  
  
This fic started life in FFIRC's hour challenge, and was finished with the help and encouragement of Majo-chan (Yamina Majo), Imp (Icka M. Chif) and SpaceElf (elffromspace). Elf and Majo are the ones responsible for turning me into an IY fangirl, and Imp's "Dead." is one of my favorite fics ever. This fic is dedicated to them, for good or ill. 


End file.
